Monday, December 28, 2009

Caleb will be here

Caleb will be here in a little over 4 weeks. I find that I feel very unprepared. With the last 2 at this point I was so tired and uncomfortable I could not wait. However I think since this will be my last baby I am reluctant to let this preganancy come to a close (as if I have a choice). However, knowing this does not keep me from procrastinating. I just wish I could make myself get everything taken care of and not feel sad about this being my last baby. I want to hold him and love on him, but the sooner he gets here the sooner he grows into a 1 year old and so on. I sound like a crazy a person when I put this on paper. I will miss the movements of this little one and it breaks my heart to know I will never feel this again.
It is so hard to know this is the last one. I feel heart sick, but now I am going to grow past this pettiness of being self-fish. I stay tired all the time and I am uncomfortable so in 4 weeks I will be so happy to be able to go for more than 1 hour with out peeing. I will be loving on this little angel and enjoying each of his milestones. Thanks for reading my insane rantings as little as a blog it still a great outlet of my feelings.